The Journey
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Esok SPM
Bismillahirrahmanirahim.
Assalamualaikumu warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
2 November 2015, Hari pertama SPM. Wahahahaha tak sedar diri ke woii esok nak exam. Hm, memang pun tak sedar lagi. Macam tak de fefeeling je. Huhuhu. For the pasr few days + weeks, fefeeling nak study tu on off on off je. Semalam pun, switch study off. Minta2 lah, hari ni, tengahari ni, petang ni, malam ni, tengahmalam nanti, keluarlah ninja and superbooster belajar. Merepek je.
Hmm, inshaAllah.. Kita boleh lakukannya ye! Perjalanan ke arah kejayaan memang susah tapi tak mustahil. Asalkan bersemangat dan bermatlamat! Matlamat tu penting. Macam mana nk ada matlamat? Kena lah ada dorongan. Dan dorongan tu penting dalam kehidupan. Hoho.
Thank you kak aira.. Allah bukakan hati kak aira utk tegur bella and wish me luck.. Kak aira just made my day shines brighter than yesterday. She gave me hope. And best of all, she gave me the extra support and strength that i need. I think, it's just because i miss my sister, and i miss her rooting for me. Yes, mungkin sebab kerinduan tu, yang membuatkan aku tersembam, jatuh berguling, tergelincir dalam beberapa hari ni. Maklumlah, dah seminggu x ziarah kakak. Kalau aku dah pandai bawak kereta, komfem, dan dan aku dah ada kat kakak bila-bila masa aku nak. Rindu.
So, kepada warga dan pejuang SPM 2015, i wish you all the best! Do the best so that you won't regret anything. ((Tersedak)) aku pun risau gila weh. Baru ada kesedaran hari ni. Itu pun on off. Uhuk. Takpelah.. Igt, study kerana Allah, kerana menuntut ilmu tu adalah fardu dan ibadah. Ingatlah orang yg tersayang.. Lol ada kena mengena ke. Haha okay guys, goodluck!
Perbanyakkan zikir ya fattah dan selawat ye kawan kawan.. Solat tahajjud kalau boleh jangan tinggal.. Pepagi tu alang2 nak study lah kan, solat jelah terus. :D doa byk2 ye. InshaAllah last minute pun Allah boleh terima.. Jangan risau, inna Allah ma'ana. :)
All in all, Allah yuftah alaina, bittaufeeq wannajah, man zara'a hasada, man jadda wajada. Yahfazullah yahfazuka, inshaAllah.
 Negativity beyond Positivity? Assalamualaikum, how are you guys today? Harapnya, sihat² lah belaka ye. Hopefully your day turns out great. You know, lately, i've lost my stregth, my courage, my source of inspiration. I lost my quarter, but it felt like i lost everything. I got nobody to talk to. I became more intense with my life. Not much of a positive bubble gum anymore - which i used to be. I am desperately sorry for everything. If i ever made any of you guys hurt, moody, or anything that is absolutely negative.. Im sorry. I may be looking happy, cheerful and joyfull. But in the inside, who knows.. Besides Him. Right? Everytime when i bumped into a situation that reminds me of my sister, it get me into the feels. Y'know? (Okay, avoid the slang that i just did here) Im supposed to study for my upcoming trials. But, what the heck, right? Huh. Sorry again for the negativity. Seriously, trial tu next week kot. I havent read anything rn. My english sucks now. I am completely a diff person. Help me Labels: Help Support. My room is a mess! What a huge mess! Whoever sees my dome, they would definitely believe that a hurricane barged into my room. Mum nagged the whole week. And it’s about time to clean it up. I picked up all my books that were misplaced, new books, old books. They were all over the place, not to mention my clothes! I got my favourite rainbow tee hanging around on my night stand. My nightgowns and shirts covered up my beautiful pink rug. Food wraps were under my study desk, chair, also on and under my bed. I regretted with this procrastination. As I was insincerely tidying my box full of junk and random stuffs, I saw something that caught my eyes. A funny old looking piece of crumpled paper was hidden in a cute old box under piles of random stuffs. It was peeked out of a box that I was familiar of. The paper was old and yellowish but still in a good condition. That very particular box was the one that brought me back to those years of memories along with that piece of paper. It was a portrait of a person I knew. It was full with memories. Happiness, pride, joyfulness, sadness and all things about life. I decided to have a short break from that tiring clean up that I was tortured to do. I sat back and scavenged that box. I suddenly realised it was a box belonged to my sister, Triumph. Triumph is a cheeky girl. She is the eldest out of 2 -Triumph and I. Indeed she is the backbone of our family. She has the face of an average looking teen with a slim and tall figure. Almost model-like. Her skin is pale-white with a little hint of pink on her cheek. Her deep dark-brown eye lens are hidden under her slit eyes. She has a thin and small lips, only her upper front teeth were shown when she smiles. And when she smiles, she lit the whole world with her charm. When she smirks, she looks just like a kitten with short whiskers. How cute she is to me. Nothing to compare when she laughs. Her shyness makes her face turns red which is very visible to people nearby and faraway. She has all the charms that I wish to be born with.
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She is indeed an active girl. She competes in sports especially in sprinting. When her competitors saw her, they would surely freaked out and their faith to win had loosened by an inch far. 90% of the time, she wins herself the gold medal. Since she was a toddler, she shows her interest in sports. We will play badminton every weekend fair and square. Not to forget, she also is a member in a taekwando class. So watch out, she might break someone’s neck! “Mum! Dad! Look at this amazing certificate. I got straight A’s!” Triumph said to her parents as she was jumping and beaming of happiness. She was twelve when she made her parents proud and glad with her academic result. She got flying colours in the Primary School Assessment Test, UPSR with solid straight A’s. I still remembered when she got home, holding a piece of paper that made her so proud of herself and jumped out of excitement which then leads to tears. Tears of happiness and relief. The next year, she qualified herself to an Islamic based school, not far away from home. The first three years there was a punch in the face. She had a rough journey throughout those years. Nevertheless, she succeed with 5A’s, 2 B’s, 2C’s in her PMR. She went to severe issues with her life. Issues that I couldn’t speak of. It was indeed complicated and hard to chew. But not all key to success lies in not biting off more than you can chew. Sometimes those breakdown in life shows us a lesson and teaches us how to handle it better in the future later on. She verified it right. In her SPM, she proved her mother that her studies throughout the years she spent paid off. Once again, made them shredded to tears. But her result did not impressed her father. 6A’s is not close enough to what he hoped for. That made her cracked to tears for she was proud of her achievement. Once again, she did not get the support she needed and desired from her father.
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She applied to UIAM, Petaling Jaya the next year, took judiciary and studied law. For she wanted to be just like dad, a judge. She wanted to satisfy dad. At that time, dad knew that he should be footing her whenever she is in need. Dad was finally proud of her. At the day of registration, I caught her tearing up in her dormitory. We were helping her unpacking her things. Her eyes crystalised, her face turned red. She couldn’t talk properly for she was sobbing. She finally got what she wanted. A life just like what she had planned. It was hard for us and herself to say ‘good-bye’ to each other. We barely heard her saying them. She had never been apart from us for she is close to us. Oh, I missed her so bad now. She already got her driving license, so she would drive herself anywhere she have to without troubling her parents. The thing she hates the most is burdening others. She cooks by herself, helps her mother with chores and houseworks, guides her siblings in academics and so on. She participated in some charity and volunteer works. She also experienced working with dad for a while. She became the person that people can trust to. People praise her, salute her and adore her. She was kind to others, so people respect her in return.
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“Glory! Are you still cleaning up your room? You better do. Or else… “ mum yelled. “Yes, yes I am. I learnt my lesson mum, I regret postponing my work.” I sighed. Knowing that mum would threaten me with her nagging all the time. I don’t blame her though. She was right. Mothers are always, ALWAYS right. Instead of doing my chore, I resumed scavenging the box. I found her hair brush. She has that long and healthy dark shiny hair. Just like in the commercials of a shampoo brand. She used to tie her hair into braids and sometimes she just tied it simply into a ponytail. She brushes her hair constantly to untangle her knots every night. Not long after she studied in UIAM, God the Almighty wanted to test her. She got sick with high fever up to 41 degree Celsius. The doctors suspected her of dengue. She was admitted to the hospital during the holy month of Ramadhan and only spent one month in UIAM. The first one week at the hospital, the doctor then suspected something else. It wasn’t dengue but a bacterial infection somewhere in her lungs and heart. The housemen and the nurses took good care of her. Mum was always there by her side. Never left her, not even a day she had the thought of leaving her alone in the hospital. Injections and blood testing turned to an everyday routine. Imagine her pain in every injection, in every needle that went into under her skin. She couldn’t fast, not even a day she was allowed to. She decided to cut her hair off. Now, her hair is at its shortest hairstyle that she had ever cut. That was easier for her to manage herself. Oh how I missed her long hair now.
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All praise to the Gracious, she was discharged from the hospital 2 and a half months after her admittance. She was weak, unable to walk and talk properly. She was considered unconscious to me. Day by day, strength by strength, will by will, she managed to get better in condition. Mum supported her all the way through. I was very impressed of Triumph. She never forgets who she should be rotting onto. She prays every day, reads the holy Quran every night, and listens to religious talk all the time. She always supports me even though she is the one who is in need. Her friends kept on visiting her and motivate her. I remembered her words she said to me, “Never give up. Every grey cloud has its silver lining. The good comes after the bad. So do not worry if anything doesn’t go to the way you planned. That is how what life should be. Unexpected.” She also told me to obey mum and dad. And never forget God and religion. She delayed her studies for one year. She still doesn’t have the strength to go out at public. We went out a couole of times, but she would be exausted at the end of the day even though it was just an outing for a lunch. She used to hang out with her friends once in a while. But that is hard for her to do that at the meantime. Oh how I missed seeing her with her friends.
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“Glory! Come and help Triumph - She’s having a high fever again.” “Mum! Triumph threw up again.” Those were the sentence that was frequently used after she was admitted to the ward. Maybe it was the medicines’ aftermath. She did took a lot of medicine at the hospital. Her health went for its ups and downs. It became a regular task for each of us to take care of her. I’d be a liar if I said I never sighed, not even a bit. I sighed a lot. Well, I’m not a person who is as patient as my mum. I was envious with her, just laying around the bed all day, not doing chores, to be taken care of and lots more. But I realised, she didn’t want this to happen to her and it was boring to just lay in bed all day. She was ill and in pain. I should be grateful for my health. For a week, Triumph was energetic. She wanted to follow dad to work. So she did. Cheerful as always, just like she used to be. She did nothing much. Just sitting in dad’s office, doodling. It was funny how she was so loving and caring for the whole week. She even asked me for a hug. She could even jumped and tip toed. We were happy to see her progress.
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I started to cry. “what’s wrong, Glory? Did the dust and dirt in your room got into your eyes?” Mum interrupted me crying. I did not realised she walked into my room. Now, she caught me crying. Oh, how embarrassing. She saw the box that I hold in my hands. She comforted me. That made me cry even harder. We hugged each other. “Honey, we all miss her. I do. It is okay to cry when you miss her. But you should never question her death. People come and go. It was her time. We, the ones who are still up and alive should move on and never stop praying for her.” I nodded. Triumph died on the exact week when she was healthy and energetic. It was also the day when dad was out for an outstation in Indonesia. It was so sudden. The doctor said she had a brain cancer at stage 4. She was one of the unique ones who do not have any symptoms until at stage 4. It was a shock for all of us. Her heartbeat is unstable. Dad arrived at the hospital at the nick of time. She was just waiting for her time. The beep sound changed. It went for a long duration. The doctor nodded. He said his condolence to us. It was, heartbreaking.
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“Now, wash up your face. Come and eat for lunch. Then, you have some serious cleaning to do, young woman.” She said while pointing out my messy room. I knit my brows. I just went through an emotional morning, how could I continue working like an ant? Well, responsibility is responsibility. Mum smirked, she understood me. “No need for a long-face. I’ll help you with it” That is what we all need. Support. Luahan Rindu Dah lama tak update blog. Lupakan semua pasal hias-hias blog ni. hahaha buat sebak je kalau ingat. Kenapa? Sebab kakak aku janji nak hiaskan utk aku. Tapi asyik tertangguh. Aku pun, dah dia janji nak buat.. aku taknak sentuh apa-apalah. Nanti dia marah pulak. Kenapa asyik tangguh? Sebabnya, kakak aku sakit. Lama jugak dia sakit. Allah, kuat betul dia ni. Aku nak ceritakan kisah dia. Dari dulu lagi. Tapi aku tak mampu. Tak sanggup. Her story made me put everything to a halt. I think, it's about time to share it. Oh Allah, please give me courage to write and type with my fullest heart. Sungguh, aku Rindu. How should I say this? I just don't know how to type it out. haha. I'll just let the pictures take over. Maybe you'll understand. - or maybe not .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) Its okay. I'll try my BEST . Pray for me. :D I'll be fine. Thanks guys. #foreverSMANian .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) .jpg)   InshaAllah. Congratulations ! :D
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. :D
This post is mainly about my sister :D well, 20/3/2014 is a very meaningful date evaa! hahaha . Sebab, hari tulah result SPM keluaq. Penentu masa depan :O .and 19/3/2014 pula result STPM . :O During both of that date, bella ada kat sekolah. :< well, ofc. semua pelajar ada kat sekolah time tu. Dah nama pun hari RABU and KHAMIS. Hari sekolah kan? hahaha Debaran boleh dirasai oleh semua pihak tidak kira pelajar itu sendiri, guru mahupun ahli keluarga mereka. Bella yg kat dlm kelas tu pun berdebar. Curious dengan keputusan SPM 2013. You know why? Sebab kakak bella is one of the students yg tgh tunggu result SPM dia keluar. Nak call kakak masa pukul 12 tu, tapi ada kelas lah pulak dah. btw, cikgu tak masuk pun. Cuma teacher AddMaths kitorg je yg masuk.. hehe rajin-rajin. ^^ . Akhir sekali, bella call kakak masa rehat. Maybe dalam jam 2.30 pm. Kakak bella x ada pulak time tu. Yang jawab phone tu ayah bella. so... yeah. I asked him. He said, well... she got 6A's . I was like, really? are you serious? I was sooooo happy. Cheerful, Delightful and Joyful.. lol hahaha. Yelah. Happy kot kakak dapat capai lebih drpd apa yg dia targetkan. 6/10 :D Eventhough org lain maybe nampak mcm ... err 6 A je? I don't care. She did her best. I was so proud of her. Ouh, and another thing. SMAN pecah rekod utk SPM 2013 ! Nobody obtained any FAIL or GAGAL dlm mana2 matapelajaran! oh yeah. xD . HAHA bangga ^^. Good job SMAN! AHhh rindunya kat budak2 SMAN. InshaAllah, kita jumpa nanti ye ! :D Some pictures that were taken : 20/3/2014 - Musolla Ar-Raudhah       P/s: for more pictures, u can easily click here and click the album entitled TAHNIAH ANAK2 SMAN! or here *kakak najah's blog* feel free to follow her :D toodles. Ma'asalamah PMR ?
Assalamualaikum ..
Setelah sekian lama ... lagi sekali.. saya dah lamalama-lamalama~ tak bukak Blogger. 'PIANO' pun dah lama tak main *kalau adelah*
Bella sekarang dah busy sesangat..!
BUSY with LIFE
BUSY with HOMEWORK
BUSY with SCHOOLWORK
BUSY with STUDIES
BUSY with PMR
WAIT !
PMR ?
WHAT ?
P-M-R ?
YES!
THE year 2013..
The last year of PMR
Batch kami last Pmr..
Gerun tak??
Bella takut ...
Takut tak dapat apa yg diidamkan
Takut tak dapat menyenangkan hati Mama dan Papa..
Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat kami..Bantulah kami untuk belajar .. Berkatilah ilmu yang bermanfaat di Dunia dan Akhirat ini..
Okay okay..
Kata2 semangat from me to all PMR candidates..
Be strong guys..! We can do it.. We can break the record..! Jangan lupa, Man Jadda Wajada.. Usaha Tangga Kejayaan, ! |
Hello. My name is EN. People prefer to call me Bella. Some may call me Bells, Belle, Bellon, Balloon and so on. It's okay, dah biasa dah~ 
Instagram : bellanadzri
Twitter : @bella_nadzri
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