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Negativity beyond Positivity?

Assalamualaikum, how are you guys today?

Harapnya, sihat² lah belaka ye. Hopefully your day turns out great.

You know, lately, i've lost my stregth, my courage, my source of inspiration. I lost my quarter, but it felt like i lost everything.

I got nobody to talk to. I became more intense with my life. Not much of a positive bubble gum anymore - which i used to be.

I am desperately sorry for everything. If i ever made any of you guys hurt, moody, or anything that is absolutely negative.. Im sorry.
I may be giving you guys quotes, inspiring words, talks, advices, but i am also on the same page as you. Sorry for being such a bad friend.

I may be looking happy, cheerful and joyfull. But in the inside, who knows.. Besides Him. Right?

Everytime when i bumped into a situation that reminds me of my sister, it get me into the feels. Y'know?  (Okay, avoid the slang that i just did here)

Im supposed to study for my upcoming trials. But, what the heck, right? Huh. Sorry again for the negativity. Seriously, trial tu next week kot. I havent read anything rn. My english sucks now. I am completely a diff person.

Help me